Baby Don't Get Lost in that Evil World

I am considering changing my name. MacGuffin I'll be, Stella MacGuffin.

It'll be great. Everyone will think I'm so important. Like, "Fantastic, Stella MacGuffin's here! Now this thing's really rolling." There will be a big fuss and everyone will get all excited, and it'll only be when the whole thing's over in a big mess that some particularly astute and sensitive observer will begin to suspect that in fact throughout the whole thing I was not, at any point, any help at all. That in fact I may actually have vanished completely some time in the middle there when everyone else was distracted, on a train headed for Monaco. But no one will care about that, because I'm Stella MacGuffin, and before the nice casino people can question where the money went, I'll have already moved on to my next amazing, talk-of-the-season, no-one-can-lose project.

Yeah, that's the way to be. Become a MacGuffin.

You'll be loved and admired, the centre of attention always and the inspiration and motivation of all you encounter. An eternal mystery, always desirable, allusive by definition. No one ever remembering you long enough to catch on to the reality of how incompetent and insignificant you really are.

Yeah, man, the ultimate free ride.

I was telling Mum about my clumsy day on Monday (I spilt milk on myself and my stuff several times, walked into a door, my notes blew away, etc), so, naturally, she thought to consult the great epic wisdom of the 2009 Horoscope Calendar 2009 for that day to see what was going on. It informed her that,
Which, I think, clears everything up pretty nicely. On some sort of metaphorical level incomprehensible to mortals, obviously, but clear all the same.

While there, Mum had a look ahead at what's to come for ourselves and our loved ones. For example, next week I must be sure to


Bit of fun (or, possibly, broken airconditioning) coming up for Capricorns, who are told to


Woohoo, watch out ladies!

And what of the virgos, you ask? Well...
I think there's something in that for everyone.