Baby Don't Get Lost in that Evil World

I am considering changing my name. MacGuffin I'll be, Stella MacGuffin.

It'll be great. Everyone will think I'm so important. Like, "Fantastic, Stella MacGuffin's here! Now this thing's really rolling." There will be a big fuss and everyone will get all excited, and it'll only be when the whole thing's over in a big mess that some particularly astute and sensitive observer will begin to suspect that in fact throughout the whole thing I was not, at any point, any help at all. That in fact I may actually have vanished completely some time in the middle there when everyone else was distracted, on a train headed for Monaco. But no one will care about that, because I'm Stella MacGuffin, and before the nice casino people can question where the money went, I'll have already moved on to my next amazing, talk-of-the-season, no-one-can-lose project.

Yeah, that's the way to be. Become a MacGuffin.

You'll be loved and admired, the centre of attention always and the inspiration and motivation of all you encounter. An eternal mystery, always desirable, allusive by definition. No one ever remembering you long enough to catch on to the reality of how incompetent and insignificant you really are.

Yeah, man, the ultimate free ride.

Today, after a big day of uni, I went into the city to buy some Hitchcock DVDs from JB Hi-Fi. One of them was Rope, my favourite film from last semester, and a just all around amazing movie. Not so well known as some of his others, but so, so good.

So, just now, while going through my uni bag, I see the DVDs in there, and decide to take a closer look at the cases. I pull out Rope first. I smile. I look closely. I notice the weird font. I notice the picture of Jimmy Stewart. I have a bit of a giggle at how incredibly subtext-y the picture of David dying is. I notice the sticker in the top left hand corner with a picture of Alan Jones and informing me that he recommends this movie.

I explode into laughter.

Alan Jones. Has a recommends series.

And it wasn't just stuck to the plastic, either, it's on the case itself. I mea-- I don't even, like, why? What does Alan Jones have to do with anything? And, I mean, I never even hear anything about him except when he's said something crazy or incredibly offensive. It's a lovely picture of the man, but I honestly don't care about Alan Jones's taste in movies. This is the strangest marketing strategy.

Also, come to think of it, isn't Alan Jones massively homophobic? To the point where many people think he's rather in denial? Yet he's recommending a film that contains extremely obvious and unignorable homoerotic subtext that Hitch thought was so integral to the piece that he worked it in despite the restrictions of the hyper-conservative Hayes Code.

I'm sort of tossing up whether or not to remove the sticker. On the one hand, I want my Hitchcock all nice and sleak and unsullied, but on the other, the thing is hilarious.


I actually went to JB because I wanted both Rope and Vertigo, and I wasn't sure I'd get them both anywhere closer. I wanted Rope because I love it, and Vertigo because I'm so in love with Hitchcock in general right now, and I'm presenting and writing on it for Modes of Viewing this semester and want to watch it this weekend. Both star James Stewart, who is qucikly becoming a favourite actor of mine. But I'll talk about that another time. Possibly at length.

So, I went shopping for my two highly thought of, brilliant pieces of classical cinema, directed by one of the most famous, influential, brilliant directors in cinematic history. So sophisticated are my tastes! So impressed anyone seeing me with them must have been! However, Vertigo being on a 'buy 2 get 1 free!' shelf, I also left with Spiderman 3 and The Fast and the Furious.

I think that's much more impressive really.


( Stella's Ridiculous Adventures in Giantwooliesland )