Baby Don't Get Lost in that Evil World

Today I emailed the film studies honours coordinator (and my favourite lecturer) about returning to uni next year.

THE WHEELS ARE IN MOTION, PEOPLE

I'm going to be worse possible type of tourist and do nothing proper cultural the whole one night I'm here. Am currently sitting in a pub bludging free wifi (which STILL won't let me dl the spn final, btw, I am doomed to never see this episode) waiting for a movie to start in the cinema across the road, and tomorrow I'm going shopping.

I've decided that stuff it, after nearly three weeks of seeing amazing old culture and history and art, I'm gonna spend my last day doing new London: shops and watching the bbc and wandering around! 

I've had the most amazing trip (Rome, Florence, Italian Riviera, French Riviera, Nice, Monaco, Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, oh my!), and even though I wish I could have a proper visit in London I am out of money and am SO excited to be going home tomorrow. 

Imma print all my photos and give my family all their gifts and go back into my life happier and more lived than before. 

Still wish I could watch the latest spn though.

Reeeeeeeeeally what to see what these apparently fake but amazing SPN spoilers are but am worried that they'll turn out to be true or still somehow spoil the episode for me regardless. ARAGH WHAT TO DOOOO

In other news I've been catching bits of misfits the last few fridays and it seems really good. Need to see if the dvd shop has it.

Watched Tennant's last DW episode on tv again today and OH GOD so many feelings. An assembly line of every DW character I ever loved marched out to break my heart a million times in the span of 15 minutes.

Also, i now have an extra day at work each week, and will be the ONLY designer there. TERRIFIED I AM NOT READY FOR THIS OH GOD WHO MAKES SOMEONE HEAD DESIGNER WHEN THEY HAVE LESS THAN A YEAR'S EXPERIENCE AND IS STILL STUDYING AND IS A NERVOUS WRECK EVERY TIME SHE ENTERS THE BUILDING BECAUSE SHE CAN'T COPE WITH SO MUCH DISORGANISATION AND SO LITTLE NATURAL LIGHT GOD I AM FREAKING OUT.

But! I've decided I'm going to make the best of it, consciously make the effort to be more confident and calm, and make the little changes needed to make the artroom run better with me as the principle user, regardless of how my half-mad boss has done things for the past 35 years. Still shitting myself but gonna try, and at least I get a bit more money each week. :/

OH OH AND: MY PASSPORT CAME TODAYYYYYYYY! EUROPE IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING YESSSSSSS. And it's a shiney new passport design with pictures all through it so if I get homesick I can just look at it and go OH GUMTREES AND EMUS IT'S LIKE I NEVER LEFT.

Wrote a thing for the local paper today. the old movie theatre facade is being restored in town, so I wrote a thing about some of my favourite really old movies. Gosh it felt great to be writing about film again; I really need to get this blog thing happening.

I MISS UNI SO MUCH IT HURTS. I AM SO GOING BACK FOR HONOURS NEXT YEAR. 

  

I have two weeks to do about 17 assessments.

This is on top of my two jobs (one of which is only three days a week and the other of which is incredibly flexible - thank god), helping organise my sister's 18th, feeding my parents' pets while they're in NZ, going to two family parties, and helping my grandma sort out her phone/internet.

If anyone else asks me to do anything for them I will actually die.

I never want to get off this couch again. Maybe I could throw it all in and just live on the couch. Get one of the random neighbourhood kids who are always walking past to bring me food occasionally. It could work.

I so can't wait for this study block to be over. I miss not having anything to do.

The gifs have stopped moving.

All the gifs, on the entire internet.

I thought it was weird that so many people were posting images instead of gifs, but then I realised.

I... am going to have to troubleshoot before the pain of loss becomes too much to bear.

I love how literally every ad LJ has put up for me in the past few weeks is for ONTD, a community I am already an active member of.

 

 

A very dear friend of mine died the other day. She was in her late sixties at the very least, and so had a depth and breadth of years and experience that I could never compare with, but still, somehow, we sat on the same wavelength.

We first bonded because I was the only person she’d met who could give her a good reason for not liking the Lord of the Rings books. She was impressed by my thinking, I was enamoured with her for valuing it. That was when I was in year nine, and I honestly can’t remember the details of many individual conversations or meetings after that one, though I do remember from all of them an ease. We got on; could talk and joke with a relaxed wit, a common disposition towards the world.

Mum once called my relationship with her “The Mutual Appreciation Society”, which was pretty well spot on. I never felt that I had to impress her, never felt out of my depth or anxious, because, somehow, she seemed to think I was pretty special already, just for being myself. I, in turn, admired her greatly, thought she was one of the coolest people I’d ever met. We shared an open respect for each other, one unmatched I think in my dealings with almost anyone else.

She was sharp and funny, well read and caring. She worked in the town library, raised a huge brood of loud, friendly and mad children, and of course was quite mad herself (many of us are, the creative and clever you find in small towns). She was well spoken but not snobbish; grand in her words and her brilliance but never vague or superior in her dealings. She was straight forward, confident, had lived a full life and taken all of it in her stride, building a heft of experience and knowledge and vitality that propelled her and powered her in her every moment.

She was, and always will be, one of my absolute favourite people.

Though there is no shortage of fantastic women in my own family, I’ve often thought that if I must get older, I want to do it like her. If, when I am her age, I can look at my life and consider myself even half the woman she was, consider myself in possession of even a fraction of her character, her brilliance, I will be proud.

And, for the time being, I take a great deal of pride in knowing that she, for whatever reason, liked me. It is an honour and a pleasure to have known her, to consider her a friend.

I am going to miss her very much.


 

I CAN'T

OH MY GOD

I CAN'T

BEST

THE BEST THING

I CAN'T

BABIES. GIVE THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS ALLLL YOUR BABIES

OH MY GOD

One sorf of awful thing, and one spectacularly good one.


Awful:

Can now cross "have a car accident" off the to do list.

I'm fine, and car should be fixed within a couple of weeks, but it was the single most terrifying experience of my life and I never, ever want to go through something like that again.



Amazing:

Going to see the Cure at the Opera House next week.

Once that's done, and I've sat in the same room as Robert Smith, I can pretty much die happy.

In an almost constant state of omgomgomgomgomgomgomggmogmgomgomogmgomgomg.