Baby Don't Get Lost in that Evil World

1. I can't stop eating these Mars filled Pods things. I buy them thinking I'll ration them as treats, but then I just munch on them constantly. I have no self control. Damn seductive caramel.

2. I have to get seriously working on my Games and Simulation assessment. I am making a text adventure game. It is set in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. There are Oopa Loompas. It is a group project and we've got it quite nicely planned out. All I have to do is start coding my part. IT WILL BE EASY AND FUN BUT I AM STILL PUTTING IT OFF. WHY DO I DO THIS???

Dear Brain,
                    Can we please stop with the anxiety? It will be very difficult for me to pass my courses if a great whopping wall of terror is erected every time I contemplate doing an assessment. I actually really enjoyed the last essay I wrote, you know. And do you remember all that pride when I handed it in on time? Wasn't that nice? Don't you want that again? Come on, kiddo, let's get adjusting. That's how you're supposed to work.

3. My flat needs vacuuming, I could make up a load of washing, and there are clothes flung everywhere. Clean up day soon, YAY! 
I loves domestic chores. They makes me feel real. And it's nice to see the floor. I have such a nice floor.

4. So, last night (as well as having a lovely night out with a friend at Circular Quay for a birthday dinner) I actually met someone from fandom in real life! Am not the only insane HP slash fangirl in Australia! Look, look, I have proof! Muhaha!! And I have made a new LJ friend! Hiiiii!! *waves enthusicastically* Will do proper greetings and exchanging of recs etc when I have taken care of point 2.  Must... do... uniwork. It-will-be-fun, dammit!

5. Have to cook tonight. I refuse to have toast or cereal for tea and I've run out of left overs. Which means I have to wash pots. Curses.

6. My god this album. It's amazing. It flows and crashes and screams and whimpers and settles and brakes and falls and lifts and it's impossible not to go with it. He has the most honest voice - more like speaking than singing, and all the while trying not to fall to pieces, filled with cracks and strange little screams - and the most sweet, exposed, and devastatingly lovely lyrics. ('The world's got me dizzy again/ you'd think after twenty-two years I'd be used to the spin,'  'It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live,'  'This is the first day of my life,/ Glad I didn't die before I met you.' ) 

The songs - lyrics and music - are so beautifully complex, even the deceptively quiet ones. There is a real simplicity to what he sings about, he doesn't romanticise, but sings about things at a very basic level, creating such honesty. It's like, he's describing things as they are, as they actually feel, but somehow it sounds so breathtaking. And the music cascades in from nothing, crashes down and sweeps through or is so silent you forget it's there, you can only focus on his voice. That sort of honesty and reality is so rare and precious.  It's impossible not to be affected. 

The closest thing I can think to compare it to is The Cure - Robert Smith has that same stuttering honesty in his voice, and that same childishness and wonder in his lyrics, and that same cascading lushesness in some of his music. In fact, the stereo is set so that Disintegration is the next album to play after Bright Eyes finishes. 'Plain Song' is a perfect way to follow up I'm Wide Awake..., it too, never fails to be stunning.

7. I'm always pinning after my pets, wishing I could take them with me to Sydney. I am acquainted with all the neighbourhood cats, and am sure to say hello when I pass them. So my mummy made me a cat so I wouldn't be lonely.


I love my Mum.

So anyway, I've had this account for like a couple of weeks now and not bothered to write anything yet, and as I've been mucking about on the computer doing other things for a while now I figure I may as well do this too.

By and large, the reason I've not posted so far is because I am at home. That's, home. Not in Sydney at uni, but home, on the farm. It is lovely. I'm really not cut out for the city or for any sort of work that involves essays or concentration. I'm far too laid back for that crap and it makes me all frazzled. 
But I love home - open spaces, smells, the pets, and my family, which surprised me - I miss them all when I'm away.  Last semester - my first at Sydney Uni - the tinyness of my room and the pressure of work and the strangeness of Sydney made me crazy. Not in a yelling thrashing kind of a way, but like all of the stuff in my head had to try to occupy a space as small as my body did, whereas usually, there is plenty of room for thought to spread out. I need to be completely calm, or else I just can't handle anything. 
And the city just feels wrong somehow. I mean, there are parts of it that I like, yeah, but really, why on earth would anyone want to live somewhere like that for any significant length of time? Where it is impossible to know all the streets and there are buildings shutting off the sky and millions of people who you don't and will never know or understand. I suppose I am just used to where I live. There are bad things about the country too, of course. But then, it's not 'the country' that I really consider home, it's my farm. There is nowhere in the world that makes more sense to me. "You can take the girl out of the country" and all that.  I'm not meaning to be sappy, I don't do sap. I just had a lot of time to think about it while I was suffering the cabin fever.

My cat seems to have seen something interesting on the ceiling... And now he's meowing at me. Oh, I see, some clever ploy to get me to notice him and let him out. Fine! 
Bossy little git. Darn him and his cuteness.

So, there's my first entry then. That's what I figured Lj would be for. Being able to enjoy my fandoms more, have an extra something to do when I'm back in Sydney (don't need or like to be on the computer much when I'm home. Although, I may jump on tomorrow or some time to write a little something about the concert Mum & I went to the other day - for prosperity's sake. Because man that was awesome!) and give myself a place to vent if the need arises and it's not too personal. Still haven't joined any communities yet or anything, but whatever, I'll get to it.

And now, it's tea time! Yay for food!!! Everybody Mambo!!!