Yesterday, as I was driving in to the pool, I had a revelation.
I had been thinking about a rather lovely dream I had had the night before (the kind where, even though some rather bad things happen - in this case the world ending/ being attacked by some monster thing, etc - the overall feel is lovely because something simply lovely happened at some point that cancels out the b-grade disaster movie quality of the rest and leaves one feeling generally lovely), replaying it in my head until I had to pause to yell at the annoying little voice of logic that kept piping in saying that people don't actually act like that and neither do the laws of physics ("Oh shutup, it can work when I'm asleep, let me enjoy it now! I know it's stupid, let me have my fun! You and you logic and your...stuff!" etc, etc), when suddenly John Farnham came on the radio.
Oh it was wonderful, I already had the giggles, so singing along was particularly joyous ("Make a noise and make it CLEAAAARRROOOHOOHOOOHOHOHOHOH WA-OOHOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH."
etc). When I reached the pool, I couldn't bring myself to interrupt, so sat in the car for well over two minutes just giggling along and singing weakly whenever the laughter would let me. That is a fantastic song. With so many long notes. I cannot stress enough my appreciation of the long notes.
It was when the bagpipes started that I was officially in heaven. I had forgotten about the bagpipes (ludicrously inept of me, I know, but hey, I'm a victim of my age. Farnsey was on the farewell tours by the time I could really appreciate him), so you can imagine my delight, I'm sure. My head was resting against the steering wheel and my body silently convulsing as I only managed enough air to get out the wa-ooohohohohohohohohoh over the bagpipe solo.
There was a spring in my step as I walked to the shed to get a noodle, and I was grinning rather madly as I swam my laps. When Father Bryan swam past and created a small wave that almost choked me, my mood only improved. It was bliss.
It was upon my second trip to the deep end that I began seriously contemplating the true meaning of the song, the most pressing being of course, 'A song with bagpipes isn't really a song, is it'.
A song with bagpipes is in a different league, in its own little world far removed from that occupied by other mere music. That is the secret to "You're the Voice"
(putting aside the social factors of the time, Farnsey's performance, and his stance in Australian pop-history, and the themes of individual and generational empowerment and of all people being equal and unified, etc, etc). A song with bagpipes automatically enters the realm of "most brilliant thing ever".
Now, I think a lot of things qualify as the "most brilliant thing ever" - certain typres of hats, for example, or old people, or the film clips to such eighties wonders as Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", or Limahl's "Neverending Story". Just because I say it alot does not mean I don't mean it. Nor does the mere fact that I might laugh hysterically whilst experiencing the object in question mean I am being condescending towards it. Laughter inducement does not negate awesomeness.
So, songs with bagpipes - fecking AWESOME.
The revelation though, concerned bagpipes themselves. I mean, those things are... okay, lets put it this way: One day, someone stuck tubes in a goats stomach. And they blew on one. At some point it was decided that this was a good way to make a musical instrument. So it was decorated with tartan. That is a level of brilliance that I'm not sure I can comprehend properly, but what I do see is pretty spectacular.
Bagpipes are weird. And they make a weird sound.
Bagpipes are genius, if only for the sheer weirdness of what they are made from.
Many inventions in the world began in strange ways, or involved weird body parts, but the bagpipe has lasted. And it makes one of the most unique sounds of any instrument out there, and evokes strong emotions with its strange sound. And it was used in one of the most iconic songs in Australian history - but that's neither here nor there.
So, my revelation was this:
Bagpipes are the Most Spectactularist Thing Ever.
I have no desire to listen to them in my free time, but I respect the mighty bagpipe, as it is the single greatest thing ever, besides air-conditioning and the word 'cardigan'. Go bagpipes.